I love to take long luxurious baths. I relax in steaming water underneath the huge picture window above my oversized tub. To prepare, I light candles all round the space, have a fluffy, thirsty towel draped nearby and add luxuriously scented bath salts to my steaming tub.
Get a pair. Donate to charity and look sexy simultaneously.
When I step out, I step into sexy, while donating to charity at the same time, by donning a pair of Scars R Sexy thong underwear and a cool, barely-there wisp of a t-shirt. My European bath salts seem to have the news spotlight, along with bad zombie behavior, lately.
Youth of America – Is There Anything You Won’t Snort?
Let’s teleport to the world of mind altering activities some youth and (tragically) certain full grown adults prefer: I hear that teens, and apparently many judgmentally impaired adults, have decided to use bath salts as a mind altering recreational drug. Seriously? What bored genius came up with this idea?
This abuse of bath salts has caused the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) to outlaw the possession of the three primary chemicals used in making the bath salts many of us love to use in our baths. In addition to making up bath salts, these compounds fall under a category many shortsighted thrill seekers equate with “supercalifragilistic fun” – the synthetic stimulant category.
The DEA made the possession of mephedrone, MDPV, and methylone in late 2011 for a period of one year. In October of 2012, they’ll decide whether to make it permanent.
Bath Salts and the Zombie Apocalypse Connection
Wake up and smell the bath salts, er, I mean coffee.
Unbelievably, the authorities have connected the abuse of bath salt ingredients to recent news reports of cannibalism. In Miami, Florida, millions of shocked Americans read and heard news coverage of a naked man actually eating off another man’s face. At first, police speculated that a new, dangerous type of LSD caused this bizarre and deadly behavior. But now, the authorities point to this abuse of bath salt ingredients using evidence that amounts to little more than experienced speculation.
Yes, our nation’s youth and, apparently, full on adults have begun using substances alter the mind in such enticing ways as inducing cannibalism – cannibalism that involves eating not only flesh, but internal organs including the brain. What do zombies eat? Brains, people! Disclaimer: Some zombie lore claims that they will eat or throw intestines and the like in a pinch. You know, like when you eat ground chuck instead of prime rib in a pinch.
Think the Miami story represents an isolated incidence of crazy zombie-like behavior?
Incidents have cropped up from coast to coast and in countless metropolitan cities around the US and the world. The Centers for Disease Control, the agency tasked by the US government to protect people from public health dangers, caused a stir when they posted an official zombie preparedness page.
Of course, they quickly said they meant it as a joke, saying they know of no virus, contaminant, or drug that can either reanimate the dead or cause zombie-like behavior of eating internal organs. Because we all know they’d tell us if they did know of something like that. Right?
So, the consensus is that the use of these synthetic stimulants has ignited this recent rash of sensational crimes, but authorities admit they don’t really know the cause for sure. They don’t know why — amid all other violent crimes in the world arena — these several cannibalistic incidents have taken center stage.
Using Drugs is Stupid. Full Stop.
I have an open question to the young and wild experimental substance enthusiasts of the world: why not just procure, via dealer (or whatever means less the typical adventurous drug abusers employ), mainstream stimulant drugs? You know, the old standbys that Al Pacino favored as drug running kingpin, Tony Montana, in Scarface and other mob movies?
Or try this novel idea – how about just not using drugs to alter your reality? You know, try really living. Experience both the good and bad in life, learn to cope with these things in healthy ways and value each breath you take. You might even take a bath or get a massage in lieu of drugs. There’s a thought.
Zombie Tendencies and Living Life
Do these bizarre incidents, whether caused by bad drugs or something else, indicate that a true zombie apocalypse is nigh? Probably not, but the sudden increase in crimes involving cannibalism certainly does indicate that a stranger is afoot.
Perhaps the public, enthralled with the several popular zombie movies and series (AMC’s Walking Dead), has sparked the media to report more frequently on these and similar incidents in efforts to satiate their audience’s affair with all topics zombie. Perhaps something – a bad drug formulation, environmental contaminant, virus – has provided the catalyst that pushes our ever-devolving world toward an ultimate and final apocalyptic end.
You could already be a type of zombie if you’re just going through the motions in life. Wake up. Cultivate self-awareness. Live.
Image courtesy of: memegenerator dot com
