As most of you know, I am a 36 year old single girl living in Hotlanta. I have had 2 great loves in my life so far, a live in boyfriend and a few other serious relationships through the years. Like every single person, I am in pursuit of “The One”.
With all that said, I hate dating. I don’t hate the act of dating, but more that really, really early initial honeymoon stage as it is today versus how it was in my 20′s. When I was a teenager one of the rules in my parent’s house was “no calling boys”. While this is a slightly archaic thought process it is a decent rule of thumb to remember during the first month of dating. Once this rule is mastered then a girl has the chance to enjoy “The Wait”. “The Wait” is that following week after you initially meet a guy where you are waiting for him to call. That time that you grab the phone half way through the first ring and then you try to act cool like you could care less who is on the other end of the phone. Back in the 90′s you would call your answering machine 14 times a day to make sure that the new boy had not left you a voicemail. When you would finally get home, if still no message was on the machine, you would call your best friend (using your phone line at the house) to ask them to call you back to make sure the phone is working. Eventually, if the potential new beau called then you got the entertainment of listening to him ask you out as he swallowed down the throw-up that kept making it into his throat due to the anxiety of the potential of rejection. If guys were halfway smart when it comes to dating they would realize that you would have ONLY given them your number if you were interested; therefore, there is a 99% chance you would agree to let them take you out. Then came text messaging…
Text messaging has completely ruined dating. Don’t get me wrong, I love the occasional “hey baby, thinking about you” or “how is your day going” midday message from a guy. It can be a great way to distract yourself during a boring day or event. Heck, I am still not sure if I would have made it through my college graduation, CE credits for my Series 7, or the last 2 hours of a sales meeting without a guy who likes to text, but really guys, are you lacking in dating skills so much that you forgot how to dial a phone? Give us a cheap thrill, besides our careers and extensive shoe collections, we really don’t have a lot to get excited about these days.
In the past 6 years I have only had 3 guys actually call me to ask me out on a date. Men, you have been taking the easy way out. Guys, I have to tell you that this is one of the least attractive moves you could make. Women want it to look like you are really interested even if you have to fake it; if you need any help then consult your single female friends because they can give you some ideas and teach you how to fake it. Call me up, stumble your way through asking me out and then actually take the time to plan something. I know that you spend less than 15 minutes getting ready for the date and I take an hour; I shaved my legs, tried on 7 outfits and tried my hair in 20 different styles before settling on one. So, do your part and put out some effort, would you?
If you want to make an impression and secure a strong chance of getting that first kiss then call about 5 days before the date to ask a girl out. My standard rule is 3 days notice for the first 3 dates. Five days is just enough to REALLY drive the girl crazy with anticipation. Isn’t romance really about anticipation? The buildup on whatever you are looking forward to? That first date. The first kiss. First overnight stay. Don’t send me a text with “hey, whatcha doin later? Wanna meet up or something?”. I have to be honest if you are lucky then you will get a response of “when you can call me like you are really interested then maybe I will say ‘yes’”. Of course, if you text me at 9pm at night with the question “hey, I am going to Compound tonight and they are having a topless party with HOT girls that have their boobs painted” then I would not expect an answer.
I was the opposite way with my fiance! He contacted me on facebook and asked for my number… I gave it to him but told him that I hated talking on the phone, not to call, to only text. What did he do? He called. We talked for 8 hours. I guess he was a true gentleman and I always respected him for not listening to me and my stupid fears of talking on the phone… lol